Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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