My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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