Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
