i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
