you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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