Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
