yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
