Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
