Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Happy Easter!!!

(248): View more from Michigan

I'm an idiot

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(801): View more from Utah

Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail

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(773): View more from Illinois

you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid

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(641): View more from Iowa

you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."

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(516): View more from New York

I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.

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