i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Swine flu is the new snow day.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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