She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
