dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
