fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
