it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
