Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy

Fav 12 4088 1199
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(208): View more from Idaho

I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table

Fav 15 4292 1405
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(785): View more from Kansas

Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?

Fav 4 1776 1028
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(480): View more from Arizona

Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.

Fav 17 5601 978
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.

Fav 12 3452 1553
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(240): View more from Maryland

I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.

Fav 5 1195 842
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(540): View more from Virginia

I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...

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(616): View more from Michigan

Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud

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(949): View more from California

It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate

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