erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
