Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
