Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Where is the hickey?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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