Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
