I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
