So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
