My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
