So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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