I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
