it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
