My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
