So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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