Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
