I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
