Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
