im drinking this country out of the recession.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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