Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
