jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I supernannyed him into submission
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
