They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
