You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
