I wish you could order shots online.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
