No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
