is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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