Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton

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(847): View more from Illinois

Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.

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(740): View more from Ohio

So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

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(740): View more from Ohio

anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.

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(254): View more from Texas

I think people are normalizing furries

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