Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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