Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
