You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Help. Why am I so naked?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
