Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
