Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
