hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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