fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
