Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
