We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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