Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
