Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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